(This message was originally a post to
the newsgroup: ALT.SUPPORT.BIG-FOLK which I posted in November 1996. I've edited and
expanded it a bit for this site.)
I've spent a lot of time in the past five
years working on my own personal self-love problem. This is a fight that a lot of people
need to be in. I'd like to help people get in the fight and win.
I'm exposing what I did, so that others might
benefit from my experiences and if applicable, use some of the methods which worked for
me.
I made great strides by doing the following:
Instead of feeling bad that I didn't get
born (Thinner, Stronger, Smarter, Richer, Handsomer, More well endowed, etc...). I stop
and take stock of what I WAS gifted with. I change my outlook from a negative one to a
positive one.
Instead of feeling bad about things that
happen to me (or things I let happen). I don't allow things to happen by default. I take
control and DEMAND that others come through for me, just as I have come through for them.
If you let people walk all over you (as I have), you end up being and feeling like a
doormat..
I keep myself up and dress as best as I'm
able. I don't wear suits and ties all the time, but I've experimented with styles of
clothes and colors that make me look my best, and I wear those..
I stay as well groomed as I can. Hair
combed/brushed, beard trimmed neatly (or chin shaved when I'm beardless), a little
cologne, teeth brushed, etc..
I laugh a lot! I refuse to be maudlin
anymore. I won't spend hours listening to Air Supply or complaining about things that have
happened to me. Now I talk about plans for the future, things I like, etc..
Join or form a support group.
It's VERY
important to get together with people who care about you and support you AND allow you to
support them. It's great for me to know that I can make a difference to others, and that
others care enough about me to want to make a difference to me.
I am always thankful to God for what he has
given me, the lessons he has set before me, and the many wonderful breaks he has sent my
way. This is VERY important. Giving F*ck you's to God is surely the best way of sending
your life into a downwards spiral. Imagine doing the same to your mother and father..
Yuck!
I give unconditional love to others. I
realize that they are people with feelings and concerns as great as my own. If I can
communicate my love for them, often they will give me the same in return. Some people
aren't equipped for this and may attack me or otherwise harm me. I understand that they
are not yet internally developed enough to do this. I'm in my love for them (just as one
might be for a much-loved child that is having a tantrum) and I do the appropriate thing
so neither of us gets hurt.
I know some of the above things aren't
specific actions. But part of what I did was knowing that I was able to know what to do at
any given time. I realized that being conscious more of the time was an important part of
this.
The main thing I do is TRUST.. Trust in
myself, in God and the Universe to send my way the things I need.
I spent a whole weekend at a
"self-improvement" seminar (Naexus), being asked to say that I loved myself. I
spent the whole weekend crying because I couldn't say it and mean it. At the end of the
seminar, I still couldn't say it..
A few months later, after doing some
extensive work on myself. I can say it easily, and mean it.
Being Over-weight is NOT the cause of
self-esteem problems, it's only a symptom of it. When I licked my self-esteem
problems, being over-weight wasn't a problem anymore. I found it much easier to lose
weight, and function in society when I felt better about myself.
Rather than waiting for my weight to go away,
or until I got more money and a better job to feel good. I did it NOW. I lived in the
end-state I wanted to be in, right away. And through that, I got there.
There's no pat answer to self-esteem
problems. But the this is what I did..
Regards,
Al Hartman
If you want to learn more about the Harmonic and how you can use it to heal yourself,
remove viruses and parasites from your body, and many other wonderful uses, goto:
Last modified: 10/04/99
Copyright © 1997, 1998, 1999 Albert A. Hartman Jr.
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