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Ask AmazingL
Ask me anything...Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Date: January 4, 1999,
Happy New Year AmazingL! We are relatively new to the internet
but appreciate good humor. We surfed into you site by accident.,
If you give good advice and want us to ask for it, believe we
must have REALLY asked for it.....cuz we certainly can use advice
about all kinds of weird and not so weird stuff. (for example,
Weird- why do things in life not make sense? Not so weird- How do
you get a blue stain out of a white shirt?) We have a website in
progress but it aint dun yit! :-) We must have help and
Charlene's Brother, David is working on it. Will e-mail you an
address when it's working. We'll be in touch, we hope!. P.S. We
have no dirty pix to send you. :-) and we know that you're
crushed! :-( Stay tuned.......we shall return ( this is a threat
:-))
Brenda is very pleased that you're real! Charlene wants to know
if your Memorex? but it doesn't matter. :-) We think your
COOL.
See ya in the funny papers!
Dear Fans,
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for, but here goes: There are only a few things in life that do not make sense and they're all the same things -- politicians! Everything else in life, in comparison, is perfectly rational.
Now for the not so weird advice (which, by the way, I think is really weird): If you have a blue stain on a white shirt, you should first determine if it's worth it to try to remove it. Everything happens for a reason (see above comment about things in life being rational) and perhaps the reason the stain is there in the first place is to get you to step back and evaluate your relationship with this shirt. Do you really want to continue to wear it or could you replace it with another shirt? Perhaps the stain is trying to tell you that you really should be wearing a blue shirt instead. On the other hand, the stain could be an improvement, depending on its shape. Or it could be a creative stimulus, inspiring you to decorate the shirt with an overall stain pattern, maybe even in different colors if you really want to go wild with it.
Thanks for writing and asking some very valid questions. I'm quite okay with the fact that you have no dirty pix to send, being as you've already sent your dirty laundry questions. Brenda, I'm glad you think I'm real -- just remember, though, that reality is a figment of your imagination. Charlene, my Memorex is okay for now -- getting a little shaky these days, but still much better than that of most people of my age. Have a wonderful New Year you two!
Date: March 8, 2001
Dear AmazingL:
Great home page...very impressive.!!! I particularly enjoyed your fast food application. O.K. heres my question. I see that you like to jog. I have this problem when I go jogging. My walkman keeps falling off my head. I was debating on Duct taping it to my head but at the same time I came to the realization that other people may stare. Are there any music systems out there that have good reception and wont fall off my head?
Thanks
Mike
Dear Mike,
The walkman doesn't belong on your head in the first place. Now, the headset, that's different. And it is supposed to stay on your head. A cap might help hold it in place, and no one would stare at that. However, if you really want good reception and dynamite sound, try carrying a giant boom box in each hand while you jog. I've seen people power walking with dumbells, so this just takes your workout and kicks it up a notch. Alternately, you could try taking a few hits of acid just before you jog. The voices in your head will then eliminate the need to carry any extra equipment. Just be careful crossing the street.
Cheers!
Date: March 13, 2001
Dear AmazingL:
I have a question...I like this guy, and yes he knows it, but I can't get over him and it makes me sick!!!! ahhhh what do I do????
Alecia
Dear Alecia,
The best way to get over one guy is to find another one to obsess over. Tell everyone at school you're in love with this new guy. Pick someone who you really DON'T like, though -- not someone you hate -- just someone you don't really know enough to like. That way, if he doesn't return your affections, it won't bother you at all. When the first guy gets wind of your new love interest, and realizes you're not paying attention to him anymore, he'll probably get jealous, even if he doesn't like you anyway. It's an ego thing. He'll probably then start acting like he likes you, even if he doesn't, just to see if you'll respond. Then it will be your turn to do the snubbing! Keep in mind though, that the second guy, who you really don't like, might start to like you when he hears that you like him. Then you might be stuck in the same situation that the guy you're stuck on now is in. This could easily go on and on for the next thirty years or so, but not if you're smart.
Once you get fed up with all this nonsense, it will be a big relief to just forget about all of those guys and concentrate on doing well in school and getting involved with clubs and hobbies that interest you. You'll be amazed at how much better this will make you feel.
Good luck!
Date: March 17, 2001
Dear AmazingL:
ok see my two best friends both like this guy ,and my other best friend has a boyfriend that is so finne ,and i used to like him but now the other guy is all over me ,and flerting and i'm supposed to work w/ one of my friends i'll call her A and the other E ,anyway i'm supposed to help A get him to like her ,and then E asked me to help her too. And i'm starting to like him ,but i still like the other guy.And E asked m,e to ask him out for her while i'm starting to like him.
What should i do?
All Mixed Up
Dear Mixed Up,
I think you should focus more on improving your communication skills. I mean, my response to Alicea was intentionally confusing -- it was supposed to be funny, but it made my point. Your letter is just plain confusing. You have best friends called A and E, but there's another best friend that doesn't get a name, not even an initial. Then there's the unnamed best friend's boyfriend, who is also unnamed. And then, there's "the other guy." So is the other guy the same guy as the guy both of your friends want you to help them with but that you like too? And the guy that you still like -- is he the same guy as your other best friend's boyfriend who is so finne? See what I mean? But seriously, I think you should tell your friends that you can't help either of them since you've got your own designs for this popular guy. Just tell them you wouldn't know what to say or how to say it, and I'm sure they'll understand.