The Mutated Fish Creed

Fine, I admit it: This doesn't belong in Short Fiction. But hey, it is a piece of writing, and it is Mutated Fish-related... more so (you could say) than other pieces I have written. This was given to the 7th-grade contingent of MF, at the beginning of the school year, to give them a sense of exactly what they's gotten themselves into.

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Mutated Fish: A well-known and well-respected company (heh heh)

Mutated Fish Co. is, as the owners call it, a theoretical enterprise. It does not exist per se, except (apparently) when we sporadically hire new employees—who likely serve some dark, mysterious end of their own, as they certainly have no purpose within the “actual” company. The only ones needed in the company are the Officers, who occasionally meet and discuss insane things formally and together. When they’re not doing that, they’re talking of insane things in small groups, or thinking of them by themselves. So you see, that’s what our whole Empire is based on.

We Own You.

Never forget that, or else… bad things will happen!

That’s our motto, and we’re stickin’ to it. Really, folks, did any of you actually think you’d get paid for joining a random company like this? Actually, it’s more like a volunteer group, but the work you do (if anything) is certainly a heck of a lot more fun than any other volunteer work you’ll ever do. So there.

We’re based upon principles too complex for the sane mind to encompass.

So, in order to further your understanding of the company, do something insane every day. If you do, your chances for promotion are that much better (giggle). Well, it’s fun anyway. Usually this is accomplished by making up a few “Morals of the Day”, such as Your nose is not for everyday usage of ketchup—it pleases the masses.

We strive for Immortality!

To recruit new and promising members, to perhaps try and get something done for the company once in a while, to attend any “meetings” that happen to be scheduled, even to create new departments (with the permission of the Prez, of course). These are the things you must try to do, in order to keep our fragile industry of dementia and toothpaste alive. You see, this company is rather precariously balanced, and the current owners to not want anything to happen to their brainchild. When they go flitting away to High School, it is the job of the Junior Officers (who will then be Senior) to breathe life into the Mutated Fish Empire, and get new Junior Officers who will do the same for you. And stuff. Basically, MF wants to stay in Doolen indefinitely.



		Fine, I admit it: This doesn't belong in Short Fiction. But hey, it is a piece of writing, and it is Mutated Fish-related... more so (you could say) than other pieces I have written. This was given to the 7th-grade contingent of MF, at the beginning of the school year, to give them a sense of exactly what they's gotten themselves into.

	The Mutated Fish Creed ~~~~~~~~~~ Mutated Fish: A well-known and well-respected company (heh heh) Mutated Fish Co. is, as the owners call it, a theoretical enterprise. It does not exist per se, except (apparently) when we sporadically hire new employees—who likely serve some dark, mysterious end of their own, as they certainly have no purpose within the “actual” company. The only ones needed in the company are the Officers, who occasionally meet and discuss insane things formally and together. When they’re not doing that, they’re talking of insane things in small groups, or thinking of them by themselves. So you see, that’s what our whole Empire is based on. We Own You. Never forget that, or else… bad things will happen! That’s our motto, and we’re stickin’ to it. Really, folks, did any of you actually think you’d get paid for joining a random company like this? Actually, it’s more like a volunteer group, but the work you do (if anything) is certainly a heck of a lot more fun than any other volunteer work you’ll ever do. So there. We’re based upon principles too complex for the sane mind to encompass. So, in order to further your understanding of the company, do something insane every day. If you do, your chances for promotion are that much better (giggle). Well, it’s fun anyway. Usually this is accomplished by making up a few “Morals of the Day”, such as Your nose is not for everyday usage of ketchup—it pleases the masses. We strive for Immortality! To recruit new and promising members, to perhaps try and get something done for the company once in a while, to attend any “meetings” that happen to be scheduled, even to create new departments (with the permission of the Prez, of course). These are the things you must try to do, in order to keep our fragile industry of dementia and toothpaste alive. You see, this company is rather precariously balanced, and the current owners to not want anything to happen to their brainchild. When they go flitting away to High School, it is the job of the Junior Officers (who will then be Senior) to breathe life into the Mutated Fish Empire, and get new Junior Officers who will do the same for you. And stuff. Basically, MF wants to stay in Doolen indefinitely.