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Corny Joke Page
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To save you from totaly and udderly wasting your time with my awful jokes, I'll let you go back to my homepage back to my homepage
Ok, I assume you want to read, seeing you just passed up your chance to save yourself some misery and went back to my homepage. Here ya go!
Why do lions eat red meat?
~Because they don't know how to cook!
What is a good example of wasted energy?
~Telling a hair-raising story to a balding man.
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
~Because it's head is so far from his body!
Nit: Today I recieved an anonymous letter.
Wit: Oh, who from?
Why wouldn't the banana go out with the prune?
~Because he already had a date.
Grandma: "Eat up your veggies or you won't grow up to be a pretty girl."
Grandaughter: "Then why didn't you eat any when you were a child?"
Why did the little pig leave home?
~Because his father was a boar!
Did you hear about the florist who had to children? One was a budding genius and the other was a blooming idiot.
How do you burn an idiot's ear?
~Phone him while he's ironing.
What kind of clothing lasts the longest?
~Underwear, because it's never worn out!
Why is a snake so smart?
~because you can never pull his leg!
What is the diference between a hare and a rabbit?
~A rabbit grows hair, but a hare doesn't grow rabbit.
How did the human cannonball lose his job?
~he got fired.
Father: Why is there a "O" on your test?
Son: It's not a "O", it's a moon. The teacher ran out of stars.
Tom: "I'm exhausted! I was up to midnight doing my homework!"
Tim: "What time did you start?"
Tom: "Eleven fourty-five"
Mimi: "I'll have a banana split, made with two bananas, three scoops of vanilla ice ceam, chocolate sauce, chopped nuts, and a big helping of whipped cream."
Waiter: "Would you like a cherry on top?"
Mimi: "No, thanks. I'm on a diet."
"I feel funny", The clown said to the doctor.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
~Croak-a-cola
Why does a mother kangaroo hate rain?
~Because all of the children have to play inside.
Lady: "What are my chances to lose weight?"
Doctor: "Slim"
Jane: "It it safe to swim here? I'm afraid of crocodiles."
Dane: "Oh, you don't have to worry about crocodiles. The sharks scare them away."
What subject are snakes especialy good at?
~HISS-TORY
Why are tucans always in bebt?
~Because they have big bills
What did the swarm of bees say to the bear?
~"Hive" got you now!
How do you know when a cat's not telling the truth?
~when he's "lion"
How do rabbits keep their fur so perfect?
~They use hair spray
Whew! You made it! I have 400 Awlful jokes to share with ya, but I don't want to put them all down now! These "jokes" came from "The Awful Joke Book" by Mary Danby. Ok, enough with this page! Let's go home! Go home now!
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