YESS - Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors

"YESS WE CAN" STORIES ABOUT AND BY YESS MEMBERS

Welcome to the Club by Michael Burkharts

Snowflakes, fingerprints and strokes; no two are alike. Welcome to the club. As soon as you are mobile, come to the YESS (Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors ) meeting. There is more in your future than TV and shuffleboard.

At Sharp Rehab, in the Recreation Therapy area , you can get all the information on activities you can do and those you must avoid. You will probably have normal side and an afflicted
Side On my bad side I must be careful around hot objects because I lost my temperature sense.
“what’s that weird burning smell? Oops, it’s my left hand” It takes time.

If you enjoy cycling, go to Park and Recreation adaptive events. They have a wide variety of cycles which have 3 or 4 wheels and are all safe to ride.

You will laugh and cry easily which is called lability. Sometime you will get furious over minor incidents. Your personality has changed. Part of your brain died.

I always carry a cane in public. People will give you more room in crowded areas. You will need more time to change directions.

When you get soap in your eyes showering, touch the wall before you close your eyes. I fell down in the shower.

You may not be able to keep your or your significant other.

Sometimes your affected side will have pains and or itches you can’t find or scratch.

Some of us can’t golf, bowl, dance or bike ride without falling which makes you so angry you cry. With your Yess friends, you will try again and amid stumbles, falling down and learning a new way to have fun, you try and laugh at yourself or at others as we are all learning together. We have gone through it and we are here to help. Only not trying , is failure.

Only one final event awaits you and you have to do it alone and in public.
The most intimidating device or out technology; getting safely on a flat belt escalator. The first time is a thrill.

ROLLING WITH THE PUNCHES BY SUE BENSON

When I had my stroke in 1987 I was 44 years old. Other than having an arm that didn’t cooperate and a limp when I walked, I never thought about getting older. While a patient at Sharp Rehab I put everything I had into therapy. When the nurses woke me up in the morning, I immediately got dressed, put on my make-up ( if you look good you feel good) and was out on the Rehab patio waiting for my breakfast. I attacked my therapy with great vigor.

I went back to college for 6 years and took every history class available. In 1994, I worked in the presidential campaign. When that finished I started volunteering at Sharp Rehab and joined the Sharp Players a drama group for disabled persons. In 1995, along with two other stroke survivors started the Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors, which keeps me very busy up-dating the data base, editor of the newsletter and meeting twice a month.

I didn’t even know I was getting old until I was asked to do this presentation on “Aging and Wellness”
Why was I chosen to do this topic? Then it hit me:
1. I was the oldest in the planning group
2. Others saw what I was denying;
Over the past 2 years, I began to have problems with my stamina and could no longer volunteer 3 days a week. I was having problems from head to foot. TEETH TO SIATICA Not to mention the parts in between.

My body was growing old but it wasn’t a disaster. Yes! It’s more difficult if you have a disability. You don’t bounce back as fast. We have to down shift our gears sooner than our non-disabled friends. It is often frustrating when I have to decline going out to evening movies. I’m lucky to make it to 8:30 so I tape all my favorite TV shows.

Getting old doesn’t mean that you stop living.. To me it means the following:

1. Rolling with the Punches
1. accepting the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. As we age it is important to expect the unexpected
2. Wellness has a lot to do with your outlook on life. Your mind your heart and your spirit. I love the feeling of waking-up to a new day. I won’t be setting the world on fire, but I can still make a few sparks.
3. Keep It Simple Survivors (KISS)
Life does get slower but it also gets simpler. After my husband’s 3 stroke we moved from a 2 level, 4 bedroom home to a flat 2 bedroom condo. No fighting stairs anymore, and we got rid of a lot of things. It’s easier to go up the mountain of life with less to carry, and too much on the way down will cause you to hit bottom faster.

4. Take time before time takes you. Enjoy your peaceful moments. I spend as much time as I can with my husband, my father and with my 4 children and 10 grandchildren. They are my reason for my being here.

5. Don’t make contracts with your mind that your body can’t fulfill. I’ve Learned to say no! It’s hard, but my body can’t afford to go on overload . I still volunteer but only one day a week. And of course I continue with YESS. If I TAKE ON TOO MUCH I WILL END UP STUCK IN NUTRAL.

I asked my ld father what his secrets were for staying young, being happy and achieving success. As a young man he spent 5 years of his life in a sanitarium with TB. Though the years I have watched him practice what he preaches. At age 90, he has started a new career. He has sold numerous cartoons to the Saturday Evening Post and Women world magazine.
Dad’s Secrets

1. You have to laugh and find humor every day. (When my husband and I get up in the morning, we sound like the cereal snap, crackle and pop.) We spend a lot of time looking for stuff we have both misplaced. When we find it, you’d think we had found a buried treasure
2. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams you die. It took my husband 10 years between his 4 stroke to write a novel. It is now being published. He is working on his next novel It may take 10 years to write this one and he’ll be 74 when its ready. But who cares, he taking time before time takes him.
3. We don’t stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. My graanddaughters and I love to play beauty shop. I sit and they do makeovers on me. This time with them is priceless. I can’t ride bike, or even walk a great distance, but they don’t care.
4. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what they do, but rather for the things they did not do. It’s true that my stroke changed the life that I planned, but when I look over the last 16 years, I know that my life changed for the better.:
I appreciate life more, I have done things I would never have dreamed of doing, I have met many wonderful people, and I have a true sense of accomplishment with watching the YESS stroke support help so many people. You might say, that I was going in the wrong direction, but God allowed a U Turn.

So get out there and “TAKE ON THE DAY”
But do it in moderation, you’ll last longer.

Taking Back My Life

My name is Sue Benson and I am a Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivor. (YESS).
I would like to share with you little about myself, after my stroke. And the strategies I used to rediscover myself, and my plans for the future.

On Friday the 13th, March 1987, just 4 months after I graduated from computer collage, I had a hemorrhagic stroke…everything I learned in computer school was deleted from my memory. The stroke occurred on the right side of my brain, which affected my left side. I have very little movement in my left arm and my gait is still wobbly. I have left-side neglect, which is why I ware my watch on my left hand. The first month in rehab I use to wake up and night thinking someone was sleeping next to me. No such luck, it was my left side just lying there…. I can only handle two tasks at a time. Once I was cooking dinner, talking on the phone and watching the news on TV. Burnt the dinner, forgot whom I was talking to and didn’t remember a bit of the news.

I have been married 43 years to my husband Robert who has had 4 strokes. We finally have something in common. We have 4 children and 10 grandchildren and my 90-year-old father lives next door. One of our granddaughters lives with us. This year she will be starting 7th grade this year so I guess I will have to relearn algebra. A year after my stroke I went back to college and, majored in history. It was really important to me to see if I could remember new information. After six years of learning dates, I was ready to move on. I decided to work in a presidential campaign. Now that was an eye opener. Still searching for something that made me feel good about my-self, I decided to become a volunteer at Sharp Rehab. That’s when my life got back on track. Volunteering gives me a since of purpose. I enjoy working with the patients, teaching them how to play the piano with one hand and watch their improvement everyday. I try to convince them that there really is life after stroke.

While volunteering, I met two other young stroke survivors, and we agreed there was a need for a stroke support group for young adults. We had different needs and goals then older stroke survivors. Once we found a Rec Therapist to facilitate the group and with the approval of Clair Jones, Systems Director Rehabilitation Services, YESS was born. Six people attended the first meeting in 1995, and now there are over 500 members on the mailing list. Over the last 9 years, Lee, Ann and I received the Channel 10 Leadership Award the Eagle Spirit Award from Sharp Rehab. We put together a Community Resource Manuel for Stroke survivors and their caregivers that contain stories and poetry by YESS members, and we have a YESS web-site where stroke survivors and chat with each other and share their concerns and accomplishments after their stroke. Life is great now, but it took a lot of work to get it that way.

Before I was a YESS, I WAS A MESS. A Miserable and Exasperating Stroke Survivor. During my 10-week stay at Sharp Rehab I denied I had a stroke, I was angry and wanted it all to go away. Every morning I put on my make up, got dressed and went along with what every the therapist told me to do. It didn’t hit me until the night before I was to go home that life as I remembered was gone. I didn’t want to leave. I felt safe here, I fitted in with other patients but most frightening was “What would become of me?’
I had three big questions on my mind.
· Why me?
· Who am I now?
· What would I do with my life?
My self-esteem was in bad shape and I was full of negative self-talk. I stayed in my nightgown all day and didn’t put on make up or really have any goals. Here’s where my building blocks of self-esteem come into play. I made up my mind to start having positive self-talk with myself every morning when I sat crying on the patio.

WHY ME? – WHY NOT ME! Bad things happen to good people, so get a life Sue.
I had my husband sit down with me and we set up some goals. Get dressed, fix myself up and start taking control of my life. If you look good, you feel better.
We started going for walks everyday. I did feel better and for the first time since my stroke there was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Who am I? And what would I do with my life? took A lot longer to figure out.
With the support of family and friends and I was able to figure out and appreciate my special talents and traits. My own Individuality. Yes I did things differently, but at least I did them. If you worry about how you look on the out side you can’t concentrate on who you are on the inside. I needed my own identity and I found it in volunteering and the YESS group. To gain self-confidence in speaking, I joined the Sharp Players, a drama group for people with disabilities. My life was getting busy again so I didn’t have time to sit around and mope. I started liking myself again so my Self-respect came back. Self-esteem comes in part from living up to your Integrity or values. I was never a quitter before my stroke and wasn’t going to start now. Remember, “The only thing that stands between failure and success is the little voice within you that says, “I can do it!!

It’s been 17 since my stroke, and 5 years since my husbands 4th stroke. In many ways we have switched roles. He has taken over a lot of the physical jobs that I have difficulty with, and because of his short-term memory and sequencing problems I handled all the bills and paper work. Everyday we use the building blocks to continue rebuilding our lives. We both have learned that how we feel about ourselves is as important to our physical health as well as mental health. Now retired, we plan on traveling. We have both had close calls and don’t plan on wasting a minute of our life. You might say we have made lots of lemon aid out of lots of lemons.

by Ridge S. (NEW STROKE SRVIVOR)
I resent that my body and brain are stroked and thatmy ‘soul,’ if there is such a thing, is leaving it upto me to do the daily drudge work of recovery. Iresent that recovery only comes from slow repetitiveexercise and doing. I am scared and resentful that I must now live my life with hard laborious effort to simply do the regular acts of living in a body in this 3D plane of existence. I am scared shitless that I alone am responsible for my life for the rest of my
miserable existence on Earth. I resent and dread thatI must now pay for all my sins of sloth and shirking neglect. I resent and dread that I am now condemned to a living hell on Earth by being me with myself in this near useless body that has turned from what could have been a palace into what is now a prison that functions like a lobotomized lobster. I resent fear and hate that this is exactly what I so richly deserve and will not escape. I resent that I threw away out
of sheer self-indulging, slothful neglect every gift of opportunity given me to save my miserable self from the hell of being the me that I am now condemned to live with. I resent that it is totally up to me to not be me yet dwell in this wrecked brain and body that are the spirit vitiating fruit of me being me.In short I resent being me in a body that with such exquisite perfection serves as my justly deserved
prison for my steadfast refusal and resistance to be something superior to being me.

By Fred N.
In November of 1996 I suffered a stroke. Since that time, I have experienced many difficult communication situations between my loved ones and friends that affected all of us in a negative way. Poor communication can and will, I assure you, cause frustration, resentment, hostility, and yes, even anger between survivors, loved ones and friends.

Based on my experiences, I offer the following in an effort to hopefully help all of us communicate in a more positive, caring and respectful way.
We should all be aware:
1. Stroke Survivors are emotionally sensitive because of the emotional nightmares experienced as a result of the stroke. The "why me" and "what did I do to deserve this" thoughts that haunt one are emotionally devastating. This occurs not because one is emotionally weak; they are a natural result of the stroke.
2. Recent survivors are naturally angry and envious of others, including loved ones and friends.
3. Survivors are aware they are different and probably always will be. They resent it and resent being treated differently.
4. Survivors hate not being able to do for themselves as they did before stroke.
Caregivers, loved ones and friends have the best intentions, but many say things that hurt one another. Following are Do's and Don'ts I believe can help everyone:
· Do not express sympathy to the survivor. Expressions of sympathy can be seen as negative and make Make the survivor feel depressed.
· Do not help the survivor unless they ask for help unless it is obvious they cannot do for themselves.
· Do not "talk down" to the survivor. It can cause them to believe you think they are incompetent or incapable of understanding.
· Always try to talk face to face with the survivor.
· Do not take anything out of survivor’s hands.
· Do not repeat yourself over and over again while talking to a survivor. Repeating yourself will not improve memory it will only frustrate and possibly make one angry. As far as understanding you, survivors understand a lot more than you may realize.
· Treat the survivor as you did before stroke and as you would want to be treated, with respect.
· Encourage the survivor to participate in all decision making.
· Encourage discussions about things other than stroke-related topics and problems.
· Survivors, do not assume others will treat you with respect and dignity. The world is full of ignorant people, just as before your stroke.
· Do not expect too much of others, they have a life too, their life does not revolve around you.
· Survivors remember, you can be a nuisance to others if you expect too much from them. Be respectful of others as you expect them to be of you.
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Congratulations Nancy!
By Sue B.
On Saturday, May 29, 1998, Lee and I had the privilege and honor of attending Nancy M's graduation from Mesa College. After years of hard work and determination, she received her AA. in Hotel Management and plans to continue college, working towards a B.A. On February 28, 1991, Nancy was mugged as she left a restaurant. After a nine-day stay in the hospital and surgery on both arms, she went home to recuperate. A few weeks later, she experienced a stroke caused by a blood clot from her injury. With the encouragement of her mother and friends, Nancy enrolled in the ABI program at Mesa College and has been going to college ever since.
Nancy became a member of YESS in 1996 and whenever she is not attending classes, she comes to the meetings. Below is an article she wrote for the YESS Newsletter in 1996.
"RETURNING TO SCHOOL"
Well, it has been a year and I was out of the hospital with nothing to do. One of my doctors told me about a program at Mesa College for people with brain injuries like myself So I went and talked to one of the counselors, her name was Jody. I signed up for the program. At first I was scared because I didn't like to go out the way I was. But after I met the teachers and students, I started to look forward to going. I made some new mends. We all went out, had parties and went to school. Some were in wheelchairs, others could walk, but we all had something in common. We all had brain injuries, different kinds, but the same. I think I have coMe a long way and this program has helped me a lot. Now I can talk to people and get involved in life again.

Thanks For People Who Care
By Nancy M.
There's caring that is special and means a lot,
Its meaning is subtle and it all has a plot
It's the hope and care that all doctors give
And in most cases they help us to live.
So whenever a doctor stops to say hello,
The smile on your face should be a glow.

For he is the savior that helps one and all
If he sees a problem, he never will stall.
And the devoted treatment from all of the staff
Is just important enough to heel every sad path.
But we always know the truth is there
That the doctors and nurses really do care.

Without the medical help that we need
Our lives would be really hard to succeed.
Just knowing we can rest and sleep every night
Makes it easier for us to turn out the light.
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GOOD ADVICE FROM “MR. D” By Manuel M.

Back in "94" I was working at the Marriott Hotel near Seaport Village and attending an ABI class at Mesa College, After I did my 3 hours of work, I went to the bus stop, at Broadway and waited for the bus going to Mesa. When my bus arrived, I picked up, my backpack and boarded the bus. I was the last person to get, on, MY FRIENDS Mike and Chenille were in front of me, They were also attending the ABI class.
I was prompt' getting on the bus but the driver didn't think so "Hurry up, I don't have all day,
Come on let's go I don't have all day," he told me.
I was shocked and uncertain how to react to the situation, The next day while working at the
Marriott, I told my work coach "Mr. D" about the problem and that I had written down the bus number and the driver's name.
My friends, Mile and Chenille saw what happened and said I should report the driver to the proper authorities, I was thinking I should get an attorney and ' maybe I could get a million. It was just a brain injury, I thought.
“Mr. D." told me that the best thing to do was just let the driver know about my head injury, A disability that doesn't look like a disability.
So I told him about my unwanted injury. That I didn’t want my cane, bad arm and leg.
About my coma and the many difficult hours I spent in rehab. After I finished my testimony he had a better understanding about head injuries. “Mr.D.” wanted him to hear my story not only to help myself but other disabled people. Not only did I feel better, but also I knew that “Mr. D.” had given me some good advice.

Manuel’s story is not uncommon. I t could happen to anyone of us. What could have been a nasty situation was avoided because he took the time to explain his situation to an uninformed bus driver. Legislation can protect our rights, but it is up to us, the disabled to let people know how we feel and hope they will gain a better understanding of our disability. -Sue B

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MERLE'S STORY
My stroke was on the last day of July, 1990, in a little gold town up in northern California called Sonora. I am an architect and had my office up there. I got up on Sunday morning, had coffee, and told my wife I had to go to the lumber company and would be back in two hours. But she noticed something. She kept asking me, 'What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you?" And I said "Nothing really, I just have a headache." She noticed that the whole right side of my face was kind of hanging, but I took off for the lumber company. First I stopped off at my office to do some work when all of a sudden I fell to the floor. I couldn't reach the phone to call for help. Not hearing from me, she thought "something's up" so she came looking for me. She saw my car in front of the office and found me on the floor and called for an ambulance.
I stayed in the hospital for a week, and then went down to a hospital in Modesto. I was there for a month and received very little rehab. Finally they sent me home. When I arrived at my home, I got the urge to have a drink and I think I drank everything in the house. I think alcohol played a big part in my stroke. I was a professional man so I knew what those 3 hour lunches, and after-work were not good for me.
Finally my wife got tired of me. She said, "I can't handle you any more." So she called my kids and said, "Come and get him. I can't do anything with him." So my kids moved me to Visalia, California where my mom lived. I was in a board and care for a while and then my daughter, who lived in San Diego, wanted me to move closer to her. I moved to San Diego in 1992 and I've been here ever since. At first I lived in a board and care but now I have my own apartment. I like living alone. Now I am trying to get a job. I left my job application at the Home Depot, but they haven't called back. I figured with all my knowledge in building I could probably help other people with their projects. I'm also a general contractor.
I want to learn to walk without a cane. I think that's what is good about the YESS group. Lots of members are walking better than they used to. I want to be able to drive and buy a car and help other people who have had strokes.

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God's Piano
By Chris C.

If you were 34 years old and playing racquetball
and serving aces and making your points....
If you were 34 years old and always took your sick leave to go hiking with your dog named bear...If you were 34 years old and playing racquetballand all of a sudden you couldn't stand up anymore or sit anymore.And if you waited for 4 hours to have your friends call the paramedics hoping it would pass...

And if you woke up the next morning in a green room heavy as a Buick hearing the doctor say,
"You've bad a stroke."…

Then you would know what its like to have your whole Iife change in the blink of an eye.
You would know how fragile life is. You would know how fragile life is. Not just say the words. You would know.
If you were 34 years old and you had a brain stem stroke and you couldn't get out of bed and your eyes saw double and you couldn't swallow water...

And if you had to learn to get from your bed to a wheelchair...
And if you had to learn to use a walker...
And if you had to learn to use these crutches...
And if you had to learn to swallow with the muscles of your tongue.. .
And if you had to learn to read with one eye...

And if you had to learn to do all these things and never mind you always feel dizzy, and never mind you lose track of where your arms
and legs are, and never mind your skin no longer knows the difference between hot and cold, and never mind that you're tired and pissed off
because you can't carry anything and you can't dance anymore, Then you would know that learning to operate your body was so easy the first time and you would never ever again take anything for granted.

If you were 34 years old, and you had a brainstem stroke, and all this sh-- came falling down on your head like God's piano dropped from the fourth floor to the sidewalk, and you're sitting there drinking coffee and didn't notice and didn’t know how to duck.
Then life, as you knew it, would be over. Then life would begin again. And you would learn what had to be learned, and you would do what had to be done; and when you finally got out of the hospital it would be like getting out of prison, “Free at last”
But the prison of your body is there... Is always there...Will always be there.

But your new life is filled with gratitude because life is life. And the rest of
your life is off the clock is somehow free. Like it's prepaid like a gift certificate.
Because it was close, a matter of a very small fraction of an inch.
”Lucky.”

And if you were 34 years old and you had a brain stem stroke and it never even occurred to you to quit. And your life before was easier but you didn't know it. And your life before was missing something but you didn't know it. And the difference between what was missing and what was easier has to do with knowing. Has to do with knowing

Then you would have a chance, you could call it a second chance to give up on what you want, to pursue what you need.
And sometimes you would feel sorry for yourself. And sometimes just breathing would be enough. And sometimes you would want to get things done. And sometimes you would curl up crying.
But you would always know the difference between what matters and what doesn't.

And when you aren't feeling sorry for yourself for the world that was lost.
When you stop wishing that the knowledge could have come without the price.
Then hope replaces despair then you begin to believe in balance. Then gains and losses equal and it wasn't a bad bargain after all.
. . . . . .
Chris C. was horn in 1950 and had a stroke in 1984. Despite problems with mobility, vision and other stroke related difficulties, Chris went on to earn a masters degree in counseling. He has worked as a Family Counselor in Oregon for several years. His specialty is in relationship counseling. He has now located in the San Diego area and we welcome him as a member of YESS.
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PLEASE SOMEBODY! JUST PINCH ME!
By Robert K.
Like most of you after my stroke, I was devastated. The fact that I had a stroke was incomprehensible to me. What bothered me the most was I could not move my left side, it felt like it was encased in cement. One thing that really blew my mind was the shot in the stomach that was given by a pretty little nurse twice a day. I can remember waiting for that dreaded shot, every night.
Then one day I was talking with my physical therapist, she looked sadly at me and said "Bob, there is a good possibility you may never be able to walk again..." My mind could not believe what my ears just heard. Please! Someone, pinch me, this Is a nightmare, wake me up! With the help of God, and a few damn good therapists, I am walking today. The point I want to drive home is that there is always hope if we just don't give up! People, doctors, mends and specialists of all types can tell you this and that, but remember, only God can say how it is going to end, and he isn't talking! Try and keep a positive attitude, do the best you can do, and never give up.
Mick Jagger sings in one of his songs, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you may find you get what you need." I find these words of wisdom true.

MY SWIMMING EXPERIENCE
It all started one day at Mesa College. I was taking an adapted swimming class, and my teacher, told the class about an upcoming swim meet, that weekend at the college pool. He asked for volunteers to help the swimmers. This wasn't just another swim-meet; it was the Regional Championships for United Cerebral Palsy. I showed up, not really knowing what to expect. The participants blew my mind. They were all physically challenged, some to the extent that floatation devices were needed to enable them to compete, and compete they did. I was very impressed with the courage, willpower, determination an spirit of each and every one of them.
I had another pleasant surprise that day. My Department of Rehabilitation Counselor was the official starter at the meet. When the competition was over, he asked, "Why weren't you swimming in the meet, Bob?" I told him I didn't know where to sign up. He told me to talk to
Kurt Farrington, the Sports Director for United Cerebral Palsy. He informed me that the swimming season was over, but I was welcome to practice with his team in the Fall.
Fall came and I called Kurt. He told me to come to the Mission Beach Plunge and practice with the team. I've been swimming with the UCP BULLETS for two years now and have won 14 gold medals. I've competed in two Regional meets, and two National Meets.
I LOVE COMPETING
"You can never give up, because if you gave up you might as well be dead. You're not of any use to anybody, including yourself Anything else can fail you, but don't fail yourself"
Bob is presently training for the 2000 Paralympics to be held in Sydney, Australia. He is just 6 seconds off to qualify. Bob participated in the US. Swimming Disability Championship in
. Minneapolis. He was the oldest swimmer, won 3 gold medals, one silver medal and set 2 American records in relay races. His goal is to be the fastest one-arm swimmer in the world. In addition to his swimming, Bob enjoys hand cycling and volunteers his time at Disabled Services here in San Diego. He now has 72 Gold Medals, two silver medals , & one bronze.

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A STROKE OF LUCK
by Barbara A. 1999
I can't remember the exact moment a doctor told me I was paralyzed on my left side. It seemed impossible not to be able to move parts of me that had moved all my life
Now, 16 months later, I have gone through the long days and hours of despair, discouragement and hopelessness. In coming out through that long tunnel, I have come to know and appreciate the many people I love and who love me. I have two wonderful caregivers: My lovely daughter-in-law, Carol, and my dear friend and neighbor, Connie. Whenever one of them is around, I feel comforted and content. In the evenings when the lights are turned on, and I see Carol or Connie sitting at my table over a task, I feel that all is well with my world. Their patience, love and friendship is more than I could have asked for. We chat, we laugh, we gossip, and tell all our secrets. Carol and Connie are the loves of my life. They give me sanity and hope.
I have come to truly appreciate the small pleasures in life and have listed some of them here. Try it! I'll bet you could come up with a lot more.
. The first cup of coffee in the morning.
. Toaster Strudel for breakfast while
watching "Sisters."
. Watching my kitten sleep in a patch of
sunlight.
. Finding a good movie on TV.
. Reading a good book.
. Seeing a good friend or just talking on
the telephone.
. Playing Scrabble with my best friend.
. A cool breeze on a hot day.
. Sitting over a heating vent on a cold day.
. Crawling into bed when I'm tired.
* Making it to the bathroom in time. (This
should perhaps be higher on my list, but
I would never have thought it would be on
any list at all.)
. And don't forget - smell the roses!
All of these things are absolutely delicious. While I can't plunge into Mission Bay for a swim, I can still enjoy the sight of it.
There are still times of discouragement. But with the help of my dear old friends, and some wonderful new ones, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.
In 1999, Barbara became an active member in the Sharp Players, a drama support group for people with disabilities. She is a talented writer and has recited several of her poems at The Sharp Players' drama presentations.
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BUNNY SLOPES OR BUST
By Kathy N.
Anyone been skiing lately? Well I hadn't been in 12 years, but I went last January with the "sharpest group of all. With assistance from the Adaptive Ski School and two of their well trained adaptive instructors. These two "beautiful" men were compassionate and funny as well.
Our trip started on Monday afternoon, we car-pooled to Big Bear, checked in at Motel 6 and then went for a fabulous dinner at the local steak house. When we retired to our rooms, there was time to catch a movie and still get plenty of rest for our big day.
Our day started at 7 am wake up, 8 am departure and 9 am arrival at school. The excitement was everywhere. There is plenty of equipment for everyone and every type of challenge.
I spent the first part of the day on what is called a bar-ski. Tethered at the hips, this enables me to stand and swish my way down the bunny slope. After nearly ten runs, I felt like an old pro. With this new- found false confidence I fell, only to be rescued by my two "hunky" instructors. I don't remember ever laughing so hard, my sides hurt more than my knee. However, after breaking for lunch the stiffness in my left knee set in. Determined not to let this ruin my day, the instructors made arrangements for me to switch to a sit ski (what an interesting piece of technology this was.) I finished the day this way, but in my own opinion this was not as fun as the other method. The real point I want to make is, it doesn't matter how you do it - just do it and have fun with it.
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DON S.
SD Brain Injury Foundation Press, 1996
A strange unsettling sensation came over Don. Four years ago as he rushed to catch a plane following a business meeting in Barcelona, Spain. Pushing it aside, the Hewlett-Packard executive flew home to San Diego, promising himself he'd contact a doctor within the week. That chance never came. The following Monday morning luck ran out. Don, then personal manager at Hewlett-Packard's Rancho Bernardo site, stood up to give a business presentation and immediately blacked out. The trip to a nearby hospital to suture his cut chin revealed something far worse, a slow-leaking aneurysm in the language area of his brain.
During the surgery that followed, complications set in resulting in aphasia, which essentially erased Don's prior ability to speak, read, write and do math. He knew what he wanted to say, but any words other than "yes" and "no?' carne out as gibberish. Even something as simple as the alphabet was no longer recognizable and had to be relearned during hours of intensive rehabilitation.
Don's road to recovery has been a long and sometimes, painful journey that began with a 33-day hospital stay and continues to include twice-weekly language therapy.
Along the way he did find the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation. The organization not only has provided emotional support with other brain injury survivors, it's given Don a multitude of voluntary opportunities.
Every Monday he visits stroke and other brain injury patients at Villa Pomerado and Carmel Mountain Healthcare Center and he also volunteers regularly with a group of stroke survivor at Palomar Hospital.
Don finds his volunteer work is a learning experience in addition to helping others. "It's great talking with them (patients) just to see how thing are going' "be said. Also, Don can personally
relate to having one's life totally change in less than a minute. Even though his rehabilitation started while he was still hospitalized, progress has been incredibly slow.
Six months after the surgery to repair his aneurysm, Don visited his Hewlett-Packard co-workers. Everyone said how great he looked, but when he tried to talk, his colleagues were shocked. "I knew what to say, but when I tried to speak the words were all turned around and came out as gibberish." It was about two months later that Don was able to speak intelligibly and even then his vocabulary was extremely limited. He smiles at the memory. "I had two good words. I could finally say cat and dog"
He continued scanning newspapers every day looking for familiar words and found headlines and graphs were easiest to comprehend. Because of his continued dedication and volunteerism, he was persuaded to join the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation's board of directors.

In 1997, Don became the first brain injury survivor to be elected as President of the Board of Directors of the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation since it’s founding in 1983.

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KAL'S STORY
By Chris C., 1997
Before my injury I was very happy. I had a good job making good money. I did "prop construction" for the movies, TV, and video industry. I constructed the props used in the production and set them up at the site they were to be used. I enjoyed this work very much because I was being artistic and adventurous. I also liked the atmosphere of being around movie people and the entertainment industry.
On the day of my injury my roommate, Annie, and I were driving home to our loft apartment after picking up a load of wood. We were 5 minutes from home. I was stopped at a red light when a drunk driver came crashing through the intersection and hit my truck throwing me and Annie out onto the street through the drivers side door. It's lucky that I had a 69 GMC truck otherwise I might not be here today. Annie just had a broken collarbone but my head got cracked wide open and I suffered a brain injury. I was in a coma for 13 days. They didn't think that I would make it but I woke up. My mom and dad visited me in the hospital constantly. I couldn't talk at first but the nurses taught me to say mom as a surprise for them.
I was in the hospital for months, then I was discharged and went home to live with my parents but that didn't work out. Then I moved to a recovery house which was very expensive and which my parents had to pay for. At first, after the accident, I was a total invalid and was like a baby. Gradually, with physical therapy and lots of hard work, I learned how to walk and take care of myself After I left the recovery house I moved back in with my roommate and she helped me a lot. Now I live on my own with cats.
The accident brought on a seizure disorder and because of that, I can't drive. I've tried to work at several jobs since the accident such as home repair, renovation and warehouse work but I couldn't continue working because the employer said that their was a problem with the insurance due to my condition.
I am now able to take care of myself, my apartment, and my cat. And with some help from a maid which is provided to the disabled through an agency in town. I ride the bus and do my own shopping. I go to restaurants and movies. I love to go to the park and sit in the sunshine, read and relax. At first when I got out of the hospital I was busy recovering. Then after a while I became angry, resentful and bitter. I wanted the guy who hit me to go to hell. I started to drink. I knew I needed some help. Dr. Rad, my counselor, helped me to get a grip on life. She encouraged me to get out and do things instead of setting around watching TV all the time. My attitude keeps getting better all the time and I always think positive.
My plans are to get a drivers license very soon and good, rewarding work.

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LYNN H.
By Christopher C., 2000
Lynn H.is a true survivor. She had a stroke in 1995 that left her paralyzed on the right side of her body and affected her speech, memory and thought processes. As a result her marriage broke up and she no longer lives with her 9-year-old son, Brian, who remains the light of her life. As with all of us survivors of brain injury her life was turned upside down forever in the blink of an eye.
Q: Lynn, you were one of the first People I met the first time I attended a YESS (Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors.) How did you happen to be there?
A: When I left Reno I moved to San Diego. I like to keep busy doing things. I like to go, go, go.
I walk a lot. And I want to get involved with the Challenge Center. It's a big Gym for disabled people to go for exercise. When I got to San Diego I got involved with people like me who had strokes and brain injuries. The YESS group is a good group full of good people. They help me a lot.
Q: What other groups are you involved with?
A: I go to ABI (Acquired Brain Injury program at Mesa College) too. I learned adaptation and they helped me with short-term memory. That program is great. They taught me how to get back to normal. This class teaches how to do it by using strategies. Like a day planner and take notes and teach you how to learn stuff easier. Now I have a real good memory. You know. Pretty much like before my stroke. They also teach about the brain, how the brain works, what parts do what. My stroke was on the left side of my brain so it affected the right side of my body. You also get speech problems. They have a class about organization too. I also help with experimental drug studies to see what helps. Like with Botox. It helps my right hand to relax and I could even use my pointer finger once. I know I can't go as hard as I want too yet but do the best I can. Right now I have therapy twice a week and school twice a week. I'd like to have a volunteer job after therapy twice a week and maybe Fridays. So I can be doing something all day long and be getting used to it. I know I never will get back to normal but I'm trying to learn to deal with what I have now.
Q: Would you tell me a bit about how your stroke affected you family life?
A: I was living in Reno when I had my stroke. After that my husband couldn't handle it and he kicked me out. I said to him "... what happened to death do us part?" He was selfish. I'm better off without him. Now I don't have to worry about that anymore. When I was with him he was really dependent on me. I didn't need him though. I was working two jobs and cleaning up after him and everything. I lost my son though. We worked it out so I see my son three times a year during vacation. We're still close but he gets embarrassed about me being different. He say's, "Don't do that in front of my friends," you know, stuff like that. He's such a great kid. When he's here we play games together and have a great time. I'd like to move back to Reno to be closer to him. I'm missing a whole lot of his life. If! was back in Reno I could be closer to him and his friends would see me. They would get use to me. I may be disabled but I'm still his "Mom." He only sees me three times a year. He doesn't see the progress. He's so happy when he calls me. In was there we could do more things together.
Q: You like to help out others when you can then?
A: I love people. I love to help people. When I lived up north I used to like to ride Horses and And teach people how to ride. I know of a place called the (Helen) Woodward Center in (Rancho Santa Fe) that teaches people with disabilities how to ride horses. I'd like to work out there and teach kids how to ride. I would have to volunteer first. I would do it if I could get there.
Q: What else would you like to do?
A: I'd like to learn to drive and get my license back. I took some lessons trom Mary Francis at On The Road Again. I had adaptations on the left side (the gas and brake peddles) and a steering wheel knob. And now I got the car but the pedals are too touchy. I don't want to have any accidents and hurt anybody.
Q: SO you're pretty much training yourself You have a program that you designed yourself to achieve your goals. You go at your own pace and do what you can and slowly you see improvement and you
go a little farther.
Q: What keeps you here?
A: School and insurance. I have good insurance here. I'm with Secure Horizons. They cover everything. And I love school. I'm not ready to move to Reno yet, but I think I will be soon. I miss my son.

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MY STORY
By Richard F.
I'm a 48-yr. old former Security Director ofthe Space and Naval Warfare Systems Center, San Diego (SSC SD). My forte was using technology to automate processes in the security arena although, after command reorganization, I was responsible for plant property inventory as well. I served as Head, Security Office for more than 12 years before, following a business trip to Borrego Springs, CA, I contracted an oral strep infection, which required a heart mitral valve replacement. My wife tells me that during this period there was some left side facial paralysis, which meant that the strep had traveled to the brain arterials already and doctors should not have prescribed the drug Coumidin . To prevent clotting of blood around the mechanical valve I was placed on Coumidin instead of aspirin, which caused a massive hemorrhagic bleed three days later, in July 2000. The resulting stroke resulted in damage to my brain's motor strip right hemisphere, trontallobe, my sensory strip, right hemisphere, parietal lobe, and my right hemisphere occipital lobe. This left me paralyzed on my left arm and leg, unable to speak because of partial paralysis to the vocal cords, vision field cuts on my left side, and with some limited sensation on my left side. Because of this loss of control of my vocal cords, to prevent aspirating food into my lungs, I was prevented trom eating and had to be tube-fed. After a lengthy hospital stay, with several operations (with my loving wife, Elizabeth, spending 18 hours awake per day ensuring that I got the medical help I needed to get well and that the kids were well cared for), I learned to walk again and regained some gross movement in my left leg. I completed initial rehabilitation oflearning to walk with a ankle brace and narrow base four legged cane. I later entered a rehab facility where I regained some of my voice and was ultimately declared fit to swallow (eat small amounts). My left arm is basically still nonfunctioning to this day, with only limited ability to raise my left arm from the shoulder and no higher than mid-chest. I have no rotational movement on my wrist and no movement on my left leg without using my hands to assist. Similarly, I must wear my ankle brace to prevent my toes from doubling under when walking. With Occupational Therapy I learned how to bathe and dress myself, needing only a little help from my wife to clean up a shave job or tie my shoes. With the cooperation of my boss and my physiatrist, I have been slowly working my way back to work, mostly working from home (although I do go in to work for two half-days each week). The person who was acting security director in my absence has continued in that role. Because of my limited ability to handle the Security Director's job, I've been formally transferred to the Base Operations Department where I'm now an Administrative Specialist, continuing to look for ways of improving the operation of the department. I attended an Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) program, one of only 12 in the country, for two terms starting in the summer of 2001, and took intensive physical therapy several times each week for several months. I now receive physical therapy only once a week.
MY FAMILY
In addition to in my wonderful wife, Elizabeth, I am blessed with two adopted children, a son of 8 years, Curtis, and daughter of four years, Eleanor. Curtis has been diagnosed as autistic but we think he is wonderful as he is. Chris came to us when he was a fourteen month old. We got Earl Bear the cat about the same time (Earl Bear sat up on his hind legs and growled like a bear hence the name) as Curtis and then little Richard (Dick) followed shortly thereafter. Curtis is a very bright young man. Eleanor was just a three-month old baby when we got her. She has since been diagnosed with mild retardation so she's a little slower, but she is so adorable.
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PART OF MY LIFE STORY
By Lynn J.
Life is Magic Today. Today there is magic in my life. I'm learning that life is like a puzzle, that is, I have to learn things over time after time to get my life in order, piece by piece. I learned several years ago that life is overcoming obstacles. I'm thrilled with these concepts because it means I'm not stuck, that is, I'm learning and growing at this time in life. Life is exciting.
Spirituality, gives Life Meaning. Being grateful for my higher power, I find that gratitude gives me wisdom and the creativity to overcome whatever comes about. Believing that we are all social creatures, we can be part of God-like thinking and creativity. I treasure therapists, ministers, classes, mythology, and lectures. Seeing spiritual lectures on educational television is a real treat for me. Books I'm currently reading Kitchen Table Wisdom. The New American Spirituality (Lesser), and Wisdom through the Ages (Dwyer).
Ways of Spending. Twenty years ago I recall being depressed because I couldn't spend money in a department store (like Nordstrom). Having minimum amounts of money leaves me satisfied because my activities are homemade. Yesterday I got a kick out of cutting my hair. This
week I plan to put hair-color over the various shades of color. Boy, that sure is fun!
Vacationing to Michigan last year to go the National Aphasia Assn. 's June 2000 convention was a winner. This year going to Baton Rouge Is going to be fun, and probably will cost about $800 for a two or three-week vacation. This means I cut corners by going by car, and staying in hotels. Of course, those new 99-cent stores and thrift stores are very much of a welcoming treat on my budget.
Activity. When I was stricken with the stroke (complete aphasia in 1983), the hospital personnel told me I was one in a million. They told me that because I had been a mountain climber, hiker, and doing physical exercise since 1975 . I have continued physical activity for about 25 years in gyms, swimming, or climbing up hills. The National Senior Olympics last week sent me an invitation to their meet. I think I'm going! I think it is a big honor.
Well-Balanced. I'm finding that being well balanced, in life's activities, keeps me in tow with life's activities.
Teaching Certification. After five years of speech therapy, my last therapist encouraged me to get my certificate again (high school in sociology). I was certified until last year. This and next year I plan to be writing subjects by using Zen (meditation) and social skills interactions to be certified again.

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CHAOS
By Terri P.
Twelve years ago, while I was dancing at a nightclub in New York City, I collapsed on the hardwood floor. My body would not move. My vocal chords could not utter a sound. I had been aft1icted by a major stroke, but my friends thought I was drunk, or on drugs. My buddies called my dad to come and get me, as they proceeded to carry on with their fun-filled night.
I was semi-consciousness, not having a clue as to what happened. My grief stricken father took me to not one, not two, but three hospitals until I was correctly diagnosed. There was a tumor festering on the left atrium of my heart, called a myxoma. A chunk of it broke loose causing a blood clot to travel to my brain-, resulting in my suffering a stroke..
The doctors performed open- heart surgery and to everyone's relief, I came through Eke a trooper. I went through a couple months of P. T. to regain movement of the paralyzed right side of my body, and speech therapy to regain my loquacious nature. I was told that this was a 'freaky" thing that happened. " This just was not something that happened to a little sixteen year old girl. I had nothing to worry about. The tumor was gone for good.
Over the next four years, there were no worries, at least not to my conscious mind. I was a "happy, cheerful girl." The only one who saw my tears was the teary-eyed woman in my reflection. Four years after my stroke, the tumor surfaced again. Anger and devastation was all I felt. Those lying son-of-a--g! *?#!!! Nothing to worry about? I went under the scalpel for a second time. I also needed a pacemaker because my heart was beating to slow.
I moved to San Diego when I was twenty-one and continued working with the mentally disabled and majoring in psychology. I became involved in a relationship that was not going right. I tried to break it off. This woman was threatening my life and the lives of my family. Never before had I got myself in an en- counter like this. I did the un- thinkable. I willed back my tumors thinking it was the only way to get out of this predicament.
Thank God I regained my sanity by the time they rolled me into the operating room. No doctors in California or New York would touch me, so I was off to Dallas, Texas for my third open-heart surgery. Miraculously, I was in and out of Texas in one week.
My heart has been clear now for five years. I let only positive thoughts run through my head. I intend on keeping it that way. After twelve years of being "The only one," I 'm grateful I discovered "YESS".

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THE DYNAMIC DUO
It was the YESS Cinco de Mayo party in May of 1999. Ben, my son, was 21 years old. My sister
Sandy and two of her boys and Grandma also came. We brought a ton of food. It was so much fun to see Ben really enjoying himself Ben got out of Rehab on April 15th, 1999. His second YESS meeting was a split night. He did not want to get out of the car and was very angry with me. Lee Price talked with him and wheeled him into the meeting. Ben gave me a very nasty look. When he came out Ben was all smiles, and that was when I decided we would keep coming to YESS. I have no idea what went on in the meeting but whatever it was it was good to see Ben smile.
-Cindi E. (Ben's Mom)

BEN & CINDI
As Director of Development at Challenge Center I have been privileged to see quite a few, "miracles". But, one of the powerful things I have been blessed to observe is the resilience of the human spirit when fueled by the tireless efforts of a loved one. This (after loosing a leg to a drunk driver and working through adjusting to my OWN disability) I KNOW to be true!
Ben Edward's is one such resilient spirit. Ben's recovery from stroke has progressed, because this terrific young man, is determined to reclaim his independence and continue to live life to the max; with vitality and humor. I didn't know Ben before. But, I am amazed and delighted that many of the things that "blew his hair back" pre-stroke are being reclaimed with zest; rock climbing, bike riding, driving and skiing. Ben's speech is abbreviated but always emphatic, "boring golf" for example!
Without Cindi Edward's (Ben's Mom) efforts I couldn't venture to guess
where Ben would be and what his quality of life would be. Cindi has crusaded tirelessly; she simply won't take the word no for an answer! Because of that Ben has been able to make incredible progress with physical therapy, speech therapy, social activities and opportunities to take part in the sports he so loves.
In a perfect world every person with disability would have an advocate like Cindi, one who would not take no for an answer. One who would stand up and insist that the very best of care, and lots of it, would be available to return quality of life and abilities and independence to the survivor.
-Jeanie Rex-Booth.

"Sunsets Make Me Smile It all makes me smile"
Ben's Interview by Sue B.
Q: What were you doing at the time of your stroke? (work, school, etc...)
A: I rode my bike to class then rode it home and went to sleep. When I woke up in the early evening around 6:45 PM and tried to get out of bed, I fell down. I was unable to talk. My roommate at Quincy College in Northern California called 911.
Q: What are your goals now?
A: I would like to go back to school and maybe study computers. Another goal is to read better. I also enjoy volunteering at a hospital in rehabilitation.
Q: What kind of moods (happy, sad, mad hurt...) have you felt since your CVA?
A: A while ago I was sad and mad but I'm over it and I look toward the future. I'm happy. I never feel afraid, well, sometimes I'm scared but it doesn't stop me from doing things. Sometimes I get frustrated but I'm my own person.
Q: What kind of obstacles have you overcome since the stroke?
A: I've definitely overcome physical obstacles. I've gone from a wheelchair to being able to ride
a mountain bike and drive a car. Also, my speech is improving.
Q: What are your social activities?
A: It's tough to meet people. I do a lot of
E-mail.
Q: What kinds of sports activities have you pursued?
A: I like to bike, snow & water ski, swim, rock climb and do other outdoor sports.
Q: List five things that make you happy.
A: Some things that make me happy are:
Waking up in the morning, 'drinking coffee, a beautiful sky, freedom, and. friends.
Q: Do you have pets, relatives, and friend if so, which ones do you value?
A: Yes. I value my Mom and Dad. I value my friend Erik and his dog, which is a Husky. I also
appreciate my mend Zack who drove all night to the hospital to see me in Sacramento.
Q: What makes your life well balanced and comfortable?
A: Music is my mend. I like old rock and roll. I enjoy music by PemiJ am, VanHalen, and Jimi
Hendricks.
Q: What makes you smile or giggle?
A: I smile a lot. Getting up in the morning, drinking coffee, and watching sunsets at the end of the day. Sunsets make me smile. It all makes me smile.
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IN MEMORIAL ANN GUENTHER 1958-1998

"Help each other out." Those are the words that Ann lived by during her post-stroke years. She
never expected anything in return. Ann's courage was evident to others who observed her in
action but she did not think of herself as a courageous person. To here she was simply putting
one foot in front of the other, doing the only things that made sense to her. When she received
the Eagle Spirit Award from Sharp she was completely overwhelmed, it was an unexpected honor
to her. That was not the only honor she had received in recognition of the extraordinary effort she made on behalf of stroke survivors. But I know that more than honors, what meant most to Ann was seeing the progress of stroke survivors toward living a more independent and satisfied life.
In life and in her dying she was an inspiration for hope and endurance. She set us all an example
for what is possible if we never give up trying once we have our goal in mind.
-Ann: you are missed and very much loved. We bless you and thank you from the bottom of our
hearts.
Chris C.

On the day Ann died (Tuesday, July 7" at approximately 10 PM) I said my good-byes at Pacific Beach where she and I had sometimes gone to watch the sunset. When I found out that Ann was breathing her last breath, I drove down to the beach alone but with the unmistakable sense that Ann was with me. The evening was particularly entrancing with the graduations of color in the clear blue of the sky, such a big sky, big as Ann's Spirit. As the sun settled into the sea the golden hues caught the wispy clouds, which dotted the ski and formed an arch of gold over the sun. It was suddenly gone, as those blazing sunsets go, and fitting for Ann, whose blaze of fife was so suddenly gone from us.
I had several conversations with Ann while she knew she was in the process of dying and she
made me promise to convey some of her message to the members of her beloved YESS group.
So, in her own words, here are some of the things she had to say:
The YESS group has been my saving grace since my strokes. It's brought so much laughter and love into my life! I have discovered how much better it is to give than to receive. I found my own
inner creativity through the process of establishing something to benefit stroke survivors. I blossomed through the effort of, accomplishing the goals we (Ann, Lee, and Sue) set for ourselves and I feet better about myself because of that You could say that I found myself and came into my own as a result of having the 2 strokes. I discovered my determination to see things through to the end. I would like to see more people volunteering and helping each other. I would like to see more survivors getting involved in other organizations like the American Heart Association. It makes you feel better. It makes you forget about your own problems. I would like to see the YESS group to branch out aNd have smaller meetings in different areas of San Diego and have them be more of a support group format like it used to be. I know I'm dying and have lot of emotions now. Angered that I'm shortened on life. I'm in shock. I'm pulled in two different directions. On one hand I'm tired of this. The world is getting worse and I'm excited about where I'm going, no struggle, peace and beauty. On the other hand I enjoy being a mom, my daughters are the most important part of my life. I want to see them grow up and get married, be a grandmother. And my work as a stroke survivor isn't finished. And I've always wanted to travel. I'm hooked up with the Hospice now. They are wonderful. The nurses and everybody take really good care of me. I want to be independent and live the way I want but now I have to be helped and that's not me. In could say one thing to the stroke survivors in the YESS group it would be don't take life for granted. Help each other out.
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ROBERT & SUE (YESS CO-FOUNDER)
By Chris C., 1997
I first met Robert and Sue in their home in Mira Mesa and was treated to a world class lasagna dinner that Sue put together in her own kitchen which she has adapted for one handed cooking. Besides being a gourmet cook, Sue keeps busy as the editor of YESS News, the newsletter for the Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors, and as a volunteer at Sharp Rehab. Bob continues to work full time in the field of nuclear security and enjoys writing, hey have, been married 37 years, have four children, and nine grandchildren.
Q: Your strokes both occurred in the eighties. What happened and what did you do to work on your recovery?
A: Sue Bob's stroke was first and I was in process of gearing up to take over the role of
breadwinner when my stroke happened. I was scared and didn't know what we would do.
A: Bob Sue's stroke was much more physically devastating than mine. After my stroke I went to the gym and I did as much exercising as I could to rebuild my stamina, strength and muscle tone. I recovered my functioning pretty well and then when Sue had her stroke I was extremely concerned for her. The doctors were discouraging about her recovery. I took a year off from my job and we went out to the desert so we could really work. After months of "do- it- yourseI£ water therapy Sue was walking again.
A: Sue We worked really hard in the pool. After a year I gained back a lot of strength and mobility and went back to school to pursue a liberal arts degree.
Q: What qualities were most important in your remarkable recovery?
A: Bob Determination. I knew that I was not done with life yet. I thank God everyday that I've
got my legs back. I listen to my body. My strength and stamina are better than some younger
people I know because I work at it and never give up. I can hear my body talking to me.
A: Sue Patience. People have to find their own limits and learn to pace themselves. It's also very important to establish and follow a basic routine. Go to bed early. Get plenty of rest. I try to get
at least 10 hours of sleep a night. Eat at the same times every day and get plenty of exercise. Also, it helps so much to be involved with life. My life revolves around my family, volunteer work, and YESS
Q: What is it like to be a married couple where you, both have had strokes?
A: Bob We appreciate life and each other more now because we have a greater sense of our mortality. Before we were climbing the corporate ladder. Now we have a slower paced life and love it.
A: Sue We're more spontaneous and enjoy life more. For example, sometimes we decide to have breakfast at the local lake. We leave early and stop at the store for supplies. We cook, watch the sun come up, playa game of dominos and go for a walk along the path around the lake.
Q. Do you have any last words for folks who are struggling with a stroke?
A: Bob & Sue: Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow a promissory note, but today is cash. Spend it well!
In December of 1998, Robert experienced his 4th stroke. He is presently on disability and plans to
retire in the latter part of 2005. As a couple, Bob & Sue are planning on a long retirement. "There's a lot to see and do and were going to do it together."
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"THERE ARE ONLY SSUEVIVORS" YESS CO-FOUNDER
By Marla K.

"Victims are dead," Lee told me. "There are only survivors." He should know, for he himself is a survivor of stroke. At 46 years old, 5-foot 8-inches, and pushing 301 pounds, he was an accident waiting to happen. His profession at the time was construction bulldozing, and grading. A man, too busy, to think, about exercise and proper nutrition.
Lee never thought a stroke could happen to him. Lee even ignored ten prior mini-strokes assuming that strokes only happen to older people. Then it happened... a full blown stroke paralyzing his left side and mildly effecting his speech.
As with many survivors of stroke, Lee's life turned upside down and inside out. Thoughts of permanent disability and dependency plagued his thoughts. He went through a period of fear and grief that is often associated with those survivors of traumatic occurrences such as this. During this process Lee took stock of his options, to sit and do nothing or take control of his life. It reminds me of that great line in the movie, Shawshank Redemption.. "Get busy living or get busy dying". Lee decided to retake control and get busy living.
He began exercising on a regular basis including participating in water aerobics, walking and occasionally jogging. His fast-food diet of cheeseburger, fries, and sodas was replaced with a more nutritious one oflow fat cottage cheese, tuna fish, and vegetables. He even began attending stroke support meetings to learn as much as he could about stroke, changed his life-style and networked with other survivors and their families.
During this discovery period he noticed that many of the groups he attended focused mostly on seniors and were quite depressing. He wanted to find a group that focused on positive ways of coping with stroke. Unfortunately he could not find one to fit his needs. So he, along with stroke survivors, Sue Benson and Ann Guenther, created YESS an acronym for Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors.
Lee is a wonderful example of someone who took a traumatic experience and turned it into a positive and rewarding life change. Always ready to reach out and encourage others, his message for those like him is to "Get up, get out, and get involved." 1 too believe this.
There are many stroke support groups that are available for survivors and their families to attend. Whether you are going through a tough time or can help someone who is adjusting to a recent life change, you can make a difference.
Lee Price reflects "When you loose something that means a lot, Something better comes along." and "I forgive all of those who have misconceptions of me."
Lee is presently working full-time at the North County Access Center as the Independent Living Skills Coordinator. He actively pursues affordable and accessible housing in the North County for persons with disabilities.

MY POETRY
By Chuck Hansen
Stroke Survivor

The future is unknown and, as yet unformed, though idling,
The Past is done and has made its work unfold.

The present is what is and, properly held,
Enables us to unfold and blossom
As loving flowers of creation.
We cannot hold, we can but unfold.
---------
LOOK!

There’re lots of “looks”.
There’s the “look” of the season.
The “look” you give when angry or hurt,
The “look” someone gives you, when they want something…

Looking around,
Looking away,
Looking good…..

There’s also Looking Up…for hope and direction,
Down…at losses and misses,
Back…at paths covered, and mistakes now understood…

And best of all, there is
Looking forward to dreams, hopes and choices,
Looking over at friends and loved ones to see how to support, applaud,or help.
So, LOOK!

-------------

HARVEST OF RECOVERY

As the sturdy tall Elms,
Towering amidst aging neighbors,
Struck early by lightning, and
Scarred, yet unstunted,
Sway mighty boughs and
Sing rustling leaves
On evensong breeze,

We, the Children of Recovery,
Whisper prayers of gratitude,
And breaths of praise in
This, the season of growth,
Breathing life into autumn’s
Harvest of Recovery.

----------------

A Joy of Memory

Like ripples of sudden applause,
The win-tossed leaves
Of Winter storm’s first
Sighs through the
Edges of tall forest,
Stir memory and laughter
In the Soul.

Lost, My Love
(on coming out of coma following neurosurgery)

Lost in my heart, lost in my heart
‘Don’t know If I’ll find my way out…
‘Don’t think I want to.

The quiet fullness of time with you, and
The gentle touch of your voice,

Chant peace in my soul, and
Calm to my heart.

Don’t think I want to.
‘Ti s rich, my love, these times with thee
Far richer, I recon, than most know
Time to be.

Lost in my heart, Lost in my heart,
Don’t know if I can find my way out.
‘Don’t think I want to.
-------
DAWN

Against a pale, brightening Eastern Sky,
The shimmering electric-magenta underbellies of
Grey-brown whisps of cloud, leftover from dawn,
Promise a full beauty of another winter day.

-------------------
On Benbo Inn patio—Afternoon Tea

Sweet quiet… and stillness
The veranda is empty but for three,
As the wait-team prepares
The tables for dinner…
Quietly as possible, moving busily in silence.

An occasional clink of silver or ting
Of crystal punctuates, as the
Gentle breezes hold conversation
With the pines and old oaks,

Soughing through their branches
As the brook burbles in the
Distance…
Far below.
----------------
WE, THE ELMS OF RECOVERY

As the sturdy, tall Elms,
Towering amidst aging neighbors,
Struck early by lightning, and
Scarred, yet unstunted,
Sway mighty boughs
And sing rustling leaves,
On evensong breeze,

We, the children of Recovery
Whisper prayers of gratitude
And breaths of praise,
In this, the season of growth,
Breathing fullness into
Autumn’s Promise of Recovery.
---------------
EACH DAY, A GIFT

Each day, a gift.
Every morning is Christmas,
Every day, a fresh package, unwrapped.
Every evening, a worship service.
Every sleep, a quiet thanks
Of restful Praise.
Each day, a gift.

---------------------
THERE’S THIS OLD BLANKET

There’s this old blanket,
Just a thin old thing,
A simple little throw.

Nik called it “Blankey”,
Erik used to dribble
When nursing or
Napping on it.

Now, I pull it softly over me
When I nap in recovery,
Or read,
Or turn of the light for night.

There’s this old blanket
Just a thin old thing
A simple little throw,

That’s seen us all
Grow and heal,
Refresh and recover,
Cry and dream.

There’s this old blanket

YESS - Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors

ABOUT YESS

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